


Cuddle deprivation

by maracas



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/F, M/M, not manage yet to understand how to do the 1/? yet, there will be other chapter i just haven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 18:50:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19179307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maracas/pseuds/maracas
Summary: Pakkun is the real Boss.Kakashi is exhausted and makes decisions.The kids (3 evil lord) bond through torturing Kakashi who's allergic to any form of affections.





	Cuddle deprivation

The kids bring in Kakashi's body. They walk through the village, holding him raised above their head. The villagers silently observe the procession and their numbers in the streets has been rapidly increasing since the genins and their sensei have entered Konoha. At one point, Sasuke who was holding his sensei's head seems overwhelmed by emotion and let it drop. Everybody amassed in the street either sees the head hit the ground or hear it happen. The other two kids barely react to the fall and wait for the one with the emo haircut to pick up it up again. Then, they continue their slow, solemn walk. (They are. so. tired. Kakashi looks like he's got zero muscles -they all agree on that-, but their experience now tells them otherwise. Their sensei is a heavy fucking bastard and while he's been in a coma, just chilling away, they've had to walk his heavy bony ass from the Land of Water to Konoha, all the while never taking a break from fear that Kakashi could die on them due to his severe chakra exhaustion. It did not occur to them that it might happen due to multiple concussions he’s been collecting from being repeatedly dropped by Sasuke.

As the kids progress towards the hospital, more villagers join the watch. Their number reaches such a point that some people start to jump onto roofs to get a better chance to see, and that the people in the front begin to pass to the one behind them, in a wave of murmurs, what they can't see, which is the children's face. They are dark : Sakura has tears in her eyes (Rage. It's pure rage. She has had to walk so many kilometres with her dumbass teammates who seriously don't understand team coordination), Sasuke is looking murderous (The few days it took them to come back from the Land of Water, he has been wanting for their walk to be over and wishing to finally be alone) and Naruto -who, everybody notices, hasn't opened his mouth since his arrival in the village- is looking sombre (a combination of getting yelled at by Sakura an hour ago and of being tired of Sasuke's shit). The kids' eyes are fixed resolvedly in front of them, seemingly refusing any visual contact with anybody, and many villagers are reminded of the habits many ninjas develop to hide their emotions. As they tell themselves that the kids are fighting their tears, Sakura and Naruto think that they just don't want to fall again, and looking far away helps them to concentrate themselves. Sasuke, on his side, is a ball of emotions and can't focus on anything.

Kakashi wakes up about an hour after having been put in a bed (his bed) in a room (his room. Someone has written last year on the door « sharigan sleepashi »). Nobody is around him, but he doesn't need a nurse or doctor to tell him he is in chakra exhaustion shitty show time. Whatever. Life be living and his brain is working fine, he thinks. After waking up in the hospital dead exhausted, the next item on his routine list is to escape. He raises himself half of the bed and sees that all the pillows have been carefully laid on a chair, at the other extremity of the room. « That's cute » he says out loud. Once he is on his feet, he moves towards the window when his brain catches up to his situation. He's in a hospital gown which exposes his butt to the world, now that he's standing up and has left the (his) bed. He sees his butt because somebody has put several mirrors in the rooms. They weren't there last time. « Ah! », he thinks joyously. Do they think they can hold him down by using his ego? He sheds it long ago. That being said, he uses the sheets on his bed to make himself a skirt. It's not that he has an ego to protect. It's that somebody drew a smiley face on his left cheek; he sees it seven times, reflected in the mirrors. Probably a nurse using his unconscious state to get revenge for all the time he left against their recommendation to STAY PUT. He can look dangerous half-naked, but(t) it can be harder to maintain his reputation if somebody sees his backside as it is now. Reputations are wonderful, frankly more useful than any kunai. The bigger they get, the less actions you actually have to do. Your image works on itself : people surround themselves, some flee, other makes mistakes in their panic to face the Copy Cat ninja. Others are dumb and he loves it: sometimes he faces people who heard of him, who knows his nicknames, and who are still surprised when they see him copy their moves. It's neat, he thinks while he finishes to test the mobility and safety of his new clothing. He is Kakashi an emotionless ninja who can read your mind and who is so above everybody he reads porn in public. He is that man and he will keep it that way, but now, he’s got to go home to his own bed and to cuddle his dog. He pushes himself out of the window and says to himself : « Kakashi the stone cold killer can count on me, Kakashi dead tired zombie has his back .» He laughs silently. « Back » reminds him of the happy face drawn on him and his name rhymes with « zombie ». If he can make jokes, he sure is in a good enough state to leave the hospital and that's simple math. 

Using wisely the energy he gained in the last hour or so being fed by an IV holding what's called by the hospital staff the « liquid for idiot » (known by Kakashi as the LIF, cause it lifts you up! and gives you life) which treats chakra exhaustion, Kakashi makes his way in the streets of Kohoha, unseen by everybody. He walks to Yamato's apartment and sees it empty. He then goes to Gai while gulping down the rest of the gloopy LIF liquid. Disgusting but. Efficient! He almost smiles under his mask : he is wise! He then goes to Gai and leaves without entering after seeing him laughing happily with his genin team. He does not want to do social tonight, too tired to be nice. His visits done, he orient himself towards his own apartments where his own bed is. He's smiling in anticipation and when he arrives, he even feels optimistic. Pakkun, he thinks. Boosted as he is on the LIF, he should have enough energy to bring him for about 3 minutes. Sure, it's going to leave him for worst and it will take him longer to go back to his usual energy level, but it's worth it. He's going to get a cuddle from Pakkun and then he's going to sleep. 

Kakashi enters his apartment, change into his clothes, fall on his bed and summons. Pakkun appears in a puff, looks at him and says immediately : « what happened ». Fine, Kakashi thinks. He will use one of his precious minutes to resume the last mission. He ending the story with Zabuza's death and himself losing consciousness when Pakkun (who's standing too far away to cuddle) asks how the pups are. Kakashi blinks at him, and says he doesn't know. They must have brought him to the hospital and left after. Pakkun demands him where they are and Kakashi makes a humming noise which results in Pakkun looking at Kakashi like he thinks he is responsible for all that's shitty in the world. For somebody without eyebrows, Pakkun sure manage to raise his and translate his disappointment and judgment. Pakkuns tells Kakashi to take care of them and disappear in a dramatic and uneserary puff of smokes. He still had 30 seconds left, the drama queen. It would have been enough for a small cuddle. Well fine, thinks Kakashi. Without his usual cuddle post-mission to cool down, aka the only form of affection he knows how to receive and accept, he might as well go and see what the little rascals are doing. It's not like he's going to get any sleep anyway now. 

He first goes to see Sakura. The kid is in her backyard, hitting a pad she clearly just installed. Her face is blank and Kakashi reads a lot of determination in her movements, although they are slow (« Bitch », she would say, had he mentioned this to her. She walked his stupid dumb body back to the village; she has a right to be tired!). Kakashi moves towards her, leaving a safe two metres between them. She nods at him, letting him know he's been noticed, but doesn't stop smashing the pad. Kakashi opens his mouth and then closes it, because he doesn't really know what to say. He opts for a classic « Yo ». Seems it was a bad choice, thinks Kakashi, as Sakura then looks at him with fierce eyes and immediately starts crying, her face twisting, fists held tightly and tears running all over, mixing with her sweat. She looks like she could go for a hug, so Kakashi carefully put a hand on her shoulder, simultaneously offering physical contact while putting himself in a position where he can hold her at a distance if she tries to come closer. She doesn't and rather let herself drop on the ground. Kakashi follows her, squatting on the grass. Sakura continues bawling for a few minutes and he lets her. After a while, she starts talking. He understands through her tears and sniffling that she feels, while considering herself to have the strongest chakra controls of her generation, that she is weakest of all the kids. And the distance between her and her teammates, in terms of ability, will only get wider. She feels trap in the role of the protector. The boys will fight and get stronger, more capable and they will learn. Meanwhile, she will stay there. She thinks her role will always be to protect the target, or stay behind and let the other fight so as not to be in their way. In their last mission, she felt nobody else would have done the protecting, and she is the only one with a brain who knows SOMEBODY has to protect, so she'll do it. She thinks she will die at some point, not having learned as much as the boys. Not having had enough experiences. Sakura weeps louder and adds that when she asked her parent to go to the Academy, she thought that she could be like Ino, strong and independent. That she didn't have to follow the path she thought was laid in front of her : get a husband, have kids and take care of them. She feels so strongly it isn't for her. She pictured kunoichi as being wild and free. Every time she would see Anko, she'd think, « Yes ». She now feels what she wanted to escape is catching up her. She feels useless, trapped. Sakura then calms down, tears stop running on her face, and she shares a memory with Kakashi, who doesn't feel he totally understand what he is supposed to read in it. She tells him about a class girls had at the Academy. The subject was on how to act « proper », ladylike. Meanwhile, the boys had extra fighting lesson. She adds : « what is my place in the team? » She doesn’t wait for a reply; as soon as she finishes the sentence, she rises to her feet and starts hitting the pad again. Kakashi stays where he is and thinks that she is right. He doesn't know what to say. He thinks of the Hokage telling him privately that the ratio a girl for two boys is created to push the boys into a competition to develop their capacity to impress her. He remembers his own thought when he saw Sakura’s name in his assigned students list : she was a nobody compared to the other two. The Hokage had insinuated that he was to focus himself on Sasuke, then Naruto. Sakura hadn't been mentioned. Kakashi doesn't know what to say to Sakura. He tells her, extending his arms again -this time putting his hands on her sweaty hair-, « ok ». He then retreats his hands back and leaves. He's going to see Naruto. 

He enters his one room apartment through its windows, and stands on its borders for a second. There's a lot to take in. Dreamy place to set up traps. So messy. The mismatch furniture has fallen on the ground, there are broken pieces of whatever all over the floor, plant pot smashed, kitchen utensils spread around and food has been spread on the bedding. Kakashi looks at Naruto who's making his way to the debris, holding a bunch of broken things in his arms and Kakashi is tired. Everything is trashed, including the team picture he just spots on the floor. It's been torn in half. Kakashi knows Naruto is messy -he's been posted as his invisible anbu babysitter when they both were younger-, but this chaotic level isn't the doing of the kid. He clears his throat to make his presence known and when Naruto sees him, he starts laughing loudly and says : « oh, you arrive at bad moment sensei! I'm just cleaning up my mess! » Kakashi diverts his eyes from the kid, not wanting to see the smile stretched on his face, and notices a paintbrush on the ground, next to a pot of paint. There is a fresh coat on one wall, it still shines a bit as it dries. Kakashi thinks he can read the word « Monster » underneath, written in red. Naruto will have to apply more than one coat. 

Kakashi turns to Naruto and focuses on the bags under his eyes. He doesn't know what to do. Does this happen often? He should help Naruto clean up, but the kid obviously doesn't want to let him know some people broke in his place. He thinks, when you are a lonely kid, appearance can be the only things you may feel you've got a control on. He thinks of Naruto’s reputation as a turbulent noise maker and how it makes people acknowledge him. Kakashi stops his thought. Fuck emotions. He leaves the window and step in, going towards Naruto. He ruffles the kid's hair, and make a smile at him. He wants it to be evident : he tilts his head on the side, squint his visible eye and make his mask move. Naruto smiles back at him, this one more relax than the previous one. Kakashi look at him and feels his throat gets tight. He must go and he does so, waving bye at Naruto.

He doesn't want to move towards the Uchiha compound, but he does anyway. It's dark all around him. There aren't many people living in this part of town. When he arrives near the main door, he hears a soft sniffling. He jumps on a nearby tree to look at the source of the noise from a distance and, from there, he sees a tiny silhouette curled up next to a bush at the entry of the compound. He shuts his brain off, carefully thinking about nothing, but he is tired and it's only half-working : he can superpose to Sasuke another small silhouette trembling. Kakashi let out a sign, and goes back on his track. At a distance he judges safe, he starts to walk loudly, whistling a nonsensical song. When he can see the door again, Sasuke is on the ground doing push-up and counting. He's saying « 125 » just as Kakashi arrives close to him. The kid’s face is red and puffy, but it can pass for the one of somebody who’s been training hard. Again, Kakashi realizes he doesn't know what to say. He has no suggestion that Pakkun would approve to offer. Go punch something until you exhaust yourself, similarly to what Sakura is doing, would be good advice if it wasn't so evident. A silence installs itself between them and Kakashi feels a slight panic rise in him. He is a sensei and he is supposed to know shits. And he knows about this shit. Ok, he tells himself. What would Gai do? He'd hug Sasuke, who would somehow be okay with the contact and wouldn't try to kill him. He would also talk with him about emotions. Well, all of this is incredibly complicated and frankly unrealistic, Kakashi tells himself. He continues his reflection : Next. What would Yamato do? Probably offer to be there and make flowers sprout under the kid's feet. And or refer to somebody more skilled in the specific era that is emotions. Kakashi force himself to speak and say to Sasuke : « uh. Me too I wanted to have a light workout as a cooldown .» He then lowers himself and starts to do push up on the ground. He's up to ten when Sasuke rhythm slows down to match his. Honestly, Kakashi thinks the exercise is pure pain and he is only keeping up because he's not going to lose the little respect his students may hold for him and fall on the ground. But he is so tired, he feels like crying and his arms are ready to melt off. He raises his head slightly and notices that Sasuke has moved himself closer. He is at a distance of 40,4 cm from him, which, by Sasuke's standards, is basically the equivalent of the kid sitting on his laps. Kakashi continue valiantly to suffer until he reaches 200 hundred push-ups when it hits him : if he plays it cool, he could do something good tonight. Something that Pakkun would approve and Pakkun’s approval is basically the best form of validation in Kakashi's life. 

He rises to his feet slowly, doing his very best not to shake and says : « Uh. I'll be going. Important things to do.» Kakashi immediately adds : « I went to Naruto's place. It was trashed. He acted like it was his mess, but somebody entered his apartment and « Monster » got paint on his wall .» Sasuke looks at him, face too stoned to be his natural blank look. Kakashi thinks he can push a bit more and tell the kid : « It must be hard to sleep alone for him. Can't feel really safe I recon .» Just as he finishes his sentence, an urge to cry takes him. Oh gosh, he hates being tired, he thinks. It makes him feel emotions and where do they even come from. Why would he cry now? But he did Good. Pakkun would give him a proud look if he was there, he knows. « Well, now let the trauma babies bonds », he says to himself. He leaves Sasuke with a « Yo » as a goodbye and as he turns his head, walking away, he sees that Sasuke is tilting his head on the side and is frowning. « Ah, he seems to be feeling too. Emotions must be contagious », Kakashi murmurs to the trees around him, not knowing who contaminated whom in this scenario. He melts into the streets, making his way to his apartment and wonders why he said « yo » before leaving. He comes to the conclusion that his brain has left him. He then pukes and thinks : Mmmm fuck goodbye rest of the precious liquid made to make me feel better. 

**Author's Note:**

> Writing is scary and i'm going it (smack my ass loudly and positive reinforcement: THATS MY GIRL)
> 
> Infinite massive amount of love for all the fic writers and the illustrators and the podfic maker who sparkles my life with lil piece of sunshine. Have you read anything by Silentwalrus? She is guuuuud!!! and have you heard a fic told by quietnight? Dude! they are Jim Dale level.


End file.
